To the untrained eye (or a f*@#ing idiot) this would appear to be a box of some type of edible substance. It was October 4, 2010 aka National Cinnamon Bun day here in Sweden. Yes they love their baked goods that much as to make a recognized holiday of it. No one gets work off or anything sweet, but I indulged in one… okay maybe 3. But they were the small shitty ones in a bag that we baked at home. Which leads me back to my point. My roommate told me that he was going to the grocery store to get some and later in the evening there would be cinnamon buns for all! So as the night got later and later I was waiting for the aroma to waft into my room signaling the buns were done. When it was 9:30 I started to get impatient and stomped into the kitchen muttering curses in reaction to the cinnamon buns I was promised not being available. As I entered I immediately saw the bag sitting next to the stove, “oh alright at least the oven is pre-heating.”
Well well well what’s this? The first thought that jumped into my head was powdered sugar. I have been keeping my eye out for the stuff and haven’t found it yet. It makes sense, all the cinnamon buns I see in Sweden have some type of sugar on top or white little granules of something. So I broke the tab on the side of the box and looked in. Yes it’s white and powdery, that only reinforced the idea that the substance inside this box was sugar. But just to make sure I lifted the box up to my noise (very briefly I might add) and there was no apparent smell that I could detect. So again I thought to myself, “Well I guess I don’t really know what sugar smells like” but either way I have had a damn cold since I got here so my sniffer isn’t performing at full capacity anyway. The brand “El Dorado” is also like a HyTop or Flavorite brand of food, shitty quality-cheap price.
So it kinda looks like sugar, kinda feels like sugar, smells like nothing. Now for the final test… touching my index finger to my tongue for some moisture I proceeded to stick my wet finger in the powdery white substance. As I pulled it out and brought my finger towards my mouth I had a small realization. This stuff doesn’t really look like sugar actually. But my brain had already sent the message to my finger, and it was too late. Once the stuff connected with my taste buds everything made perfect sense.
THIS IS LAUNDRY DETERGENT!!!! UGHHHHHHHHH. Why didn’t I see it before? The “COLOR”… guess I just wrote it off because so far my experience is that Swedes are not the best graphic designers. I have also never seen this El Dorado brand anywhere beside the grocery aisle, but I suppose like any other large supplier that produce household items as well. The way I’ve told this story so far seems like I sat in my kitchen for a good amount of time examining and contemplating, No. This whole process took about 35 seconds. This stuff left the worse taste in my mouth. I immediately turned the sink on and started rinsing my mouth out, then grabbed a paper towel and started scrubbing my tongue. Hearing all the commotion, my roommate came out to check what the hell was going on.
The sight of the opened box, and me wiping my tongue off with a dish towel gave Bruce all the tools to put two and two together, because he started laughing at me hysterically. This is pretty much how are conversation went after that:
Me: “WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU LEAVE LAUNDRY DETERGENT ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER? YOU KNOW I CAN’T READ OF SPEAK SWEDISH”
Bruce: “Hahahahahahahaha”
Me:”I MEAN YOU LEFT IT SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO A BAG OF CINNAMON BUNS”
Bruce: “Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha”
Me: “YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE, WHO USES POWDERED LAUNDRY DETERGENT, IT’S TWO THOUSAND AND F’ING TEN, I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEY SOLD THIS IN STORES, I THOUGHT THEY JUST USED IT IN CORRECTIONAL PRISONS.”
Bruce: “HAHAHAHA, you hahaha actual hahaha ly ate laundry detergent.
Me: “SHUT UP BRUCE”
Then to top it off the jackass burnt the cinnamon buns… I ate laundry detergent for nothing.
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